liptonrm_fic: (spn smirk-lightningbird)
[personal profile] liptonrm_fic
Title: The Meaning of Okay
Fandom: Supernatural
Disclaimer: A wide gulf separates what I own from what Kripke and Warner Brothers own. I suspect you can tell just where it is.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: A coda to 5x03 with spoilers through that episode.

Summary: Dean's happier now, of course he is. Sure.


The thing that Sammy never understood was that it was all about pushing forward and doing the job. He loved the guy but Sam just couldn’t ever let anything go; he had to overthink and overanalyze and before you knew it he was heading out to Stanford or drinking demon blood out of some skank’s arm. Sometimes you knew, deep in your gut, what needed to be done and you did it, end of story.

But then, there were a lot of things Sam had never understood. He was like Dad that way.

“You know you’re being an idjit, right?” Bobby said to him over the phone one night, static on the line or in Bobby’s voice. “The both of you.”

“Probably so.”

And Bobby was probably right. But no matter how empty the other seat in the Impala might look Dean just couldn’t do it anymore. He’d tried and he’d tried and he’d tried. Sure, he’d fucked up on more than one occasion, had managed to screw up his brother worse than Dad ever could, but there was a limit to how far he could go, even for Sam.

He’d learned that lesson a little too late for anybody's sake. Life sucked that way sometimes.

At least things were easier now. No more worrying about where Sam was or what he was doing, the weight of being Sam’s salvation or executioner lifted from his back. He could do the job the way it should be done, the way he’d done it all those years when Sam was at school and Dad was nearly a distant memory.

He could move forward and not look back.

The road stretched in front of him, the jitter of another hunt around the corner needling down his spine. He turned the radio up and let it blank his mind, his chest empty and tight.

Everything was just fine.


~~~

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-29 03:42 pm (UTC)
ext_1310: (sad eyes crooked crosses)
From: [identity profile] musesfool.livejournal.com
Aw, Dean. How are the pyramids this time of year?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
Surprisingly solid and real-looking.

*shakes head* Oh, Dean.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-29 04:47 pm (UTC)
ext_13391: (empty_space_dean)
From: [identity profile] smilla02.livejournal.com
Everything was just fine
Yeah, just perfect. Oh, Dean.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
His denial is like no one else's.

Oh, Dean indeed.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-29 11:17 pm (UTC)
lark_ascends: Blue and purple dragonfly, green background (Default)
From: [personal profile] lark_ascends
Nicely done.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-30 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unbreakableburr.livejournal.com
Lovely coda, to a heartbreaking scene.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
Thank you! Sometimes the Winchester angst just kind of writes itself.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 03:44 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-30 05:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] layne67.livejournal.com
You've broken my heart into a million pieces.

*sniffles*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
If it helps any, I think I broke my heart too, or it was already broken by Show.

*passes half-empty box of tissues*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:00 am (UTC)
ext_36848: (Default)
From: [identity profile] andreth47.livejournal.com
This is heartbreakingly real and I love it. The flatness of Dean's internal voice is perfect. Oh, Dean. You're so happy.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erinrua.livejournal.com
Wow. Yeah. Dean is his own best liar. Good stuff, authorly person.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Oh, Dean. He should know by now that the lies he tells to himself are the worst kind to tell.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 11:05 am (UTC)
embroiderama: (Dean - eyes!)
From: [personal profile] embroiderama
Oh, Dean, tell that to yourself a few more times. This is lovely.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
Thank you!

And, you know Dean, he'll lie to himself until he makes it come true, or worse happens.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-02 05:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] labseraph.livejournal.com
Ah, Dean ... the Nile is not just a river in Egypt, you know.

*pats him*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-03 03:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liptonrm.livejournal.com
*snerk* Dean's version is practically as large as the original.

Oh, Dean.

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